14 Aug 09

I finally realized that after almost 37 years on earth, that I need to grow up – what a concept. My mother always told me that the best therapy is to write down my feelings; well that is what this blog is going to be about. I have 2 others, but this one will be opened to the public, or whoever feels like reading it. I have 1 that is only opened to a select few, and there I will post what I don’t want the entire world to know about. The other one, is 100% private, for now, it’s about my journey to becoming healthy. There are some things in my life I wish to keep private, that is why the 3 blogs…this should be interesting.

Yesterday I sent a mass email to some people in my life, because no matter what has happened in the past that is just that, the past. I’ve realized that life is too short to worry about other peoples miseries, unless for some strange reason it affects me. I am too old for the high school drama, so I’ve decided that I’m going to move on with my life and do good. Not sure what will come of that email, but it’s out there. (see below)

I want to get back into going to church again, just need to get on the ball and go. I think it will benefit me and J and R. I am looking at HT, and I need a sponsor, because I have to be reconfirmed into the church and I think going back to church will help me become a better person. It has never failed in the past when I actually would go to church, it felt that I needed to go at that time, and I say that because I felt that the sermon was written just for me and it would make me feel great when I left. With the changes I’m making in my life, I think adding this to my weekend routine will help.

Now, I’m not going to make this blog about religion, it’s just going to be about things in general. I’m not one to push issues. I have faith, and that is my choice, and I have beliefs that are mine and I’m not pushing them on anyone.

I want this blog to be fun, and different.

xoxo

the email:

Good morning!

This is just an email to let you know, not just you, but others, that I have a new and different outlook on life. I've realized that life is way too short to be hateful, mad, angry, jealous, deceitful, and ugly (in personality, not looks). You don't have to reply, I just want to let you know a few things:

I want you to know that no matter what has happened in the past between us is just that, in the past. The other night I forgave a lot of people who hurt me in the past, and that made me feel so much better, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

A lot of things have happened this year and I am forgetting the bad and I want to start with a new outlook on life.

I do not have a perfect life and I know no one else does, and I'm done with judging people, I am not God, so therefore I can't judge.

I care, I really do, whether you believe me or not. I think I'm a good and decent person and I know I have a big heart and I worry and care too much, that I doubt will change.

Take this email how you want. I'm taking baby steps to starting over and I hope you will take them with me.